We are on a constant search for love, finding it is not the difficult part, it’s the holding on that is the battle. Why then do most relationships end up in heartache? I think more often than not people rush into relationships without giving thought to what they yearn for. Taking the time to understand yourself most importantly, and then discovering what you want in a partner will save you time and heartache.
Walking into new relationships are fun and exciting, especially at the beginning. The thrill of discovering each other and the adventure into the unknown is very appealing, however the newness often leads us to be blinded by the early tell tale signs that this relationship may not work. We ignore the sirens and continue only to find ourselves months later or worse, years later at the end of the road. Had we not ignored the signs, time would have been saved, and we would have opened ourselves up to possibilities that may have been right for us.
So what then makes a relationship live past the storm? There are 2 main ingredients that make for a solid relationship, those being chemistry and compatibility. Chemistry is the level of attraction, the type of attraction were nothing else matters. Lets face it, when we start all new relationships chemistry is high, we can think of nothing else but to be in the arms of other, making love in ways only our imagination can describe, but the trick is sustainability. Can we continue to maintain this chemistry, and even if we could, chemistry alone does not warrant for a solid relationship. This is where understanding what you want in a partner is so important. Being compatible means sharing likes and dislikes, sharing these commonalties makes life’s journey together easier.
There are many tenants to relationships and when entering into one we all look for love, trust, faithfulness, honesty and understanding. However, it is paramount to understand that each individual has their own communication style, understanding your partner’s style is important to iron out differences. For example if you are a person that deals with conflict head on whilst your partner prefers to avoid conflict, this can inevitably lead to greater conflict.
The level of commitment to the relationship is also important because if you both respect and want to protect your relationship, then the relationship itself becomes more important than the ego. Remember, anyone can make a commitment and say it out loud, but its what he or she does that states the fact.
Choosing the right partner is not an easy task, he or she needs to respect and nurture you, it should be a union where you both work together rather than working against, it should be were you bring out the best in each other, driving each other to be the best and spurring them on to reach their full potential. Your partner should be able to mirror the things that you can not see in yourself, both good and bad.
All relationships will encounter conflict, it is how you deal with them that matters. Conflicts should not be seen as a road to destruction but rather as a path to growth and understanding each other.
Remember that matters of the heart may never be easy, all that matters is finding the person that will make the journey enjoyable.