First  Dates

When I think about the dating pool, I imagine a green broth, bubbling with the most menacing stench. Standing at the edge not knowing whether to jump in or not, and knowing full well that when you climb out off this disgusting soup, there can be only two possible endings. You can either jump out victorious, because you have conquered this gumbo and found exactly what you were looking for, or you could jump out reeking of this vomit smelling soup, not understanding why the hell you even jumped in, in the first place.

As you can tell, dates scare me, first date horrify me. You never know what to expect, in fact should you be expect anything on a first date? Sometimes departing a first date can leave you feeling all tingly and wonderful inside, wishing that the night never ended and hoping that there would be a second, and then there are those. You know the ones I am talking about. Sitting at the table and wondering why every second feels like an eternity, and just when you think its over, he orders dessert. Oh dear! Kill me now.

There are no sure ways to predict how a date can end, but we definitely can take a few precautions and hope for the best.

The first thing is that you should never be late. First impressions are important and if you are late it shows disrespect. I remember being on a date with my ex husband, it was very early in the relationship, probably our fourth date, I think. Well, we made plans to meet for lunch, he arrived 2 hours late, with no phone call or message, to this day I am not sure why I sat there waiting like an idiot, but I did. Long story short, we married and now divorced. Moral of the story? There are always signs, just pay attention.

Now, when deciding on your attire, I suggest you tone down a little, as much as you want to show off your amazing body, showing off less leaves more to be desired. The last thing you want is for him to think that you are easy. I have friends who I have seen go out on dates showing off boobs, bum and legs. Please ladies, if you want to expose, expose just one of your assets, but then again not too much. Leave a little for the imagination.

Never get drunk on your first date, this is a No, No. When you are slightly intoxicated everyone looks like a super model, this leads to regret, I promise you. Being sober is important, not just because you don’t want to find your name in the gutter the next morning, but more importantly, you want to get to know the other person so that the decision to see or not to see again is made when the mind is clear.

Avoid talking about ex’s. Seriously guys, one would think this is common knowledge. Why would you want the other person to feel like they are in competition? And from a women’s perspective, when a man starts talking about his ex, that’s generally the end of the date. Goodbye, never to see him again. No, we don’t want to hear what he or she does, looks like or eats. No one cares!

As much as it is great to talk about your plans for the future, marriage and babies are off the table, unless you want the person running out off the restaurant in horror. In fact this could be a great topic if you want the night to end sooner.

Please, and I beg you, do not flirt with other people. It is rude and inconsiderate. Why go out on a date if you are not prepared to give the other person your complete attention?

Avoid becoming an “I – specialist”,we all know at least one of these people,  there is nothing more annoying than someone blowing smoke up their own …..

Now for the Do’s

Its always a good idea to take your own car, in this way if the date is not going well, you can leave and not have to endure the awkward drive back home.

Do show manners, manners never goes out of date and listen to the other person, this shows interest and makes the other person feel a lot more valued.


So that’s my first date tips, now, here’s to you jumping in head first into this revolting pool of vomit, otherwise known as the dating pool and coming out triumphant.

Don’t forget to leave a comment, send me your tips or just let me know your weird and crazy first date stories. Would love to hear from you.


Happy dating.