10 Things to stop doing in a relationship

© Andrew Zaeh | ZAEH, LLC

10 Things to stop doing in a relationship

The dynamics of any relationship is peculiar. From birth we have been moulded into beings that move from one relationship to another and as we move it seems that we need to fulfil societal roles. From being in a relationship with our parents to moving into friendships, intimate relationship, marriage and eventually being parents to our very own children. Somewhere in the midst of this movement we begin to feel the need to dominate over another.

Friendships, marriages and even homes have been broken due to the need to dictate and control another.

So, here are things to stop doing in every relationship 

  • Don’t try to change the other person. Each individual has been given their own unique character, this is what makes us into what we are. If you try to change another person, you will be constantly disappointed because the person will never live up to your standard.
  • Grow up and stop being a jealous person. Its is human nature to have friends, even the ones of the opposite sex. My advice to you is that if your partner is making you feel insecure, then maybe its time to move on. However unwarranted jealousy is unfair on the other person.
  • Not being 100% present when you are together is sadly the prevailing truth in most relationships. Technology has taken over our lives and the depressing truth is that most couples may be in the same room for hours but will barely utter a word to each other. Learn to switch off and be present in every moment.
  • Stop competing with each other, relationships are not competitions, its about pushing each other to be the best they can be. There is no winner and loser, its all about support.
  • Don’t give hurtful comments, once the words are released it can never be taken back. Think before you speak. If you are upset, it would be wiser to call time out. Hurtful comments will only lead to heartache.
  • Don’t be defensive to criticism, listen with an open mind.
  • Don’t give solutions to problems when all the other person wants is for you to listen.
  • Stop complaining, it is frustrating to be around someone that is never grateful and always complaining.
  • Stop concealing problems, brushing things under the rug does not make them go away. Face issues head on with an open mind.
  • And finally, don’t force something that is not meant to be.
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Is your friend crushing on you?

Friend Crushing

Is your friend crushing on you?

So, you have been friends for a while but recently you feel that he may be crushing on you. Nothing can be more unsettling than the feeling that your friend may have a crush on you, especially if you don’t feel the same way. Many friendships have been lost due to blurred lines, however if caught early, there is a chance that the friendship can be saved.

How do you know for sure? Here are some tell tale signs to help you:

  • Notice what he says, especially if he suddenly becomes more interested in your love life. If you go on dates, does he slam your date mentioning that you can do better?
  • Has your friend ever hinted that he wanted to date you? For example, has he hypothetically asked you what you think it would be like if you both dated each other?
  • Has your friend invited you to hangout alone more often?
  • Has he been complimenting you more? If he rarely took notice and suddenly you find that he is complimenting you more, it is a sure tell tale sign that something is up.
  • Does he pay special attention to you in group situations?
  • Has he suddenly become shy around you?
  • Has he become more aware of his appearance around you?
  • Does he become jealous when other guys approach you?

If you are still not sure, give him the opportunity to tell you, or enquire with mutual friends. Either way, you need to first discover whether you really want to know if he has a crush on you. This discovery could change the dynamics that you both share. You could end up dating and it could either be beautiful or it could end in tears. Are you ready to lose your friend or on the flip side realize your soul mate?


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